Broken Memories
by LilHam
Summary: Axel needs to move on in his life, and finds his place moment almost impossible to live with. check inside for a complete summery 8D


**Title: **Broken Memories

**Author: **LilHam

**Disclaimer: **TT I own nothing.

**Summery: **Axel pays one more visit to past memories, which are clashing with the way he wants to live and move on with his life now. Though the people, and thoughts in his life now are making moving on almost impossible. With Roxas haunting him, begging for a chance to see him again, the Organization shunning him, and Saix making his life a living hell; it may take a whole lot more then a little faith in exsistants to make his life half-way decent. _AxelxRoxas AxelxSaix_

**Notes: **Ok. So. I wrote this while I was feeling like shit & I know i've written my share of angst but it honestly helps with trying to express my feelings. So I hope you enjoy, and **please** Review for me, kay? So I can feel appericated. Thank you.

-!!!!!!-

_If **life** gave you that one chance to hit, pause, rewind, and fast-forward, to forget every  
detail that you didn't like in you're life--would you? Or would you hold you're head up _

_high for **one** more  
day and pray to whatever **existed **that life would turn up heads, and not face down again?_

_Would you do it?_

_Our **memories** are precious in our **hearts**, but if they were so precious,  
Why are they so easily **broken**?_

The jagged heart shaped box that cut into Axel's previous existent insides torn at his delicate pale flesh. His body heat rushing to meet the cool floor; colliding and creating sensations of both chilled and burning. His blood painted hair glowing against the carefully painted tiles that his broken body rested upon. Face down, his cheek resting on the only surface he could remember being against. The red fluid slowly dripped down Axel's face, as a silent putter of the drips landing on the tiles could be heard within the darkness; as they laid to rest in a puddle that accumulated there.

At first glance; he seemed dead. Among the low glow of a single dim light, flashing on his natural body curled up into a perfect, flawless form. Axel's hand was the first sign of movement, as he moved it slowly, and brushed it against his cheek, tapping the blood from the side of his head and slowly opening his pale green eyes. Staring at the liquid that stained his finger tips, without any signs of emotions; pure agony.

As pure as his agony, Axel intentions were the same purity, though one word, he didn't dare speak it upon his lips; **_Roxas_**,

Simple, mixed word, had caused his demise, and the downfall of his life. Flashing through the pages of his memories, or what was left of him, he say through his darkness, catching a glimpse of the light he was never supposed to loose sight of. When was _time _and _darkness_ against him? He thrived in both, graceful and delicate as he was, no one would ever be able too tell he was once the **_flurry of dancing flames_**. No, now he was just, _Axel_; the sickened soul that made up his plastic body.

_Back. _

_He needed to go back._

_To the time when everything, seemed fine._

_He was happy his life was flowing in the direction of promise._

_His heart was insight, his image was one of envy, he was the perfect example of strength._

_**Now**?_

_He was nothing. _

_He was lower then, the lowest._

_Axel had truly fallen further then he'd ever been before, he was stuck in pit that seemed **endless**._

Axel couldn't recall that time in his life again though, _where did it disappear too? _His mind, desperately searching for some sign of past; only to fail. Axel breathed heavily, his parted lips shook with a mixture of shock and the poison that had been set upon them. "Ah." He muttered, unable to form that words that had befallen him. Axel let his weak hand fall back onto the tile, crashing like a meteor thrusting it's way onto Earth. Fluilds mixed, causing a pinkish state to form, from the concuxtion that formed from blood, sweat, and tears.

There, those bloody tears he felt streaming down his face, the cool liquids, feeling like a thousand pools of ice set upon a bonfire. Axel felt, melting. His body gave a violent shake before it came, an explosion of so-called _emotions_. He whimpered, letting out long sighs and harsh breaths, begging for his lungs to keep him breathing. His body shook like a building in an earthquake, closing his eyes tightly, he waited, to be discovered, and taken into _someones _arms. **Anyones**.

Like he did so far back then, breathing those beautiful sounds that people wait a life time to hear from the right person. The nights keep up so long, tangled in sheets, matted against the bodies, like those in a mourge. The pleasurable shaking, and feelings that came; undescriable. That was one thing that Axel did remember, and held on too deeply. The only thing he had left.

_Breathing lightly against the soft flesh of lover's ear,  
Lips parted and glossed brilliantly,  
Bodies weak with passion and strong with lust.  
**Pain** and **pleasure**._

_The most desirable feelings in the world.  
**Axel**.  
And.  
**Roxas**.  
Together. Like **one**. _

His mind brought him to more tears, as he could feel his body falling apart at the seams, like a rag doll; poorly constructed and missing pieces. The words still echoing in his head like the day he spoke them--

"_Remember me._" Weak, powerful words, hung out for belonging and owning. Never does a day go by without thinking about the words spoke back to his own, the pain still unbearable, leaving an empty wound in his stomach,

"_I promise, never to forget._" The grim smile spoken with the words, shown through the darkness inside Axel's mind, the lips perfectly shaped in remembrance.

_And that was all. _

_Everything he could remember. _

His life had been abandoned, his mind trailed away, his body lifeless and emotionless. _The end struck him_. Through his thoughts a **slam **came through the door, life once again came into play, as the thoughts quickly re-ran through his head.

"Still lying here, **slut**?" The voice asked, harsh, brutal words, that stung at Axel's delicate flesh, burning and making his body tremble with fear. Axel opened his mouth to answer, and the words clogged his throat, making him choke on them, and painfully sallow them back.

"**_Pathetic _**whore. Still mourning over _the boy_?" The tall, blue-haired man spoke, brushing his gloves across the scar that brought a sense of character to his **_heartless_** body. Oh how Axel swallowed hard against the sight of that scar.

Closing his pale eyes, Axel turned further away, using his weak, strength to move himself. Finally his words came to play, as if they were written on a script inside his head, Axel got the courage to push away his fear, if only for a moment and mouth out, "Yes, and you're still jealous; Saix."

The words broke like bricks against both figures. Sinking in for only a passing moment, Axel realized what he'd said to his Superior and briskly took it back. "I-I mean, It wasn't supposed to, come out--" Before he could finish his sentence, he was pulled up from the ground, reveling more of his bruised, beaten, bloody; body. If Saix grip wasn't so tight against his large shoulders, he would have fallen to the ground in a painful stumble.

"You, fucking, lifeless bitch. You have no idea what you've gotten you're self into have you? It's enough that you've betrayed _us_, but now you have the guts to speak out of line? I think I should put you in you're place for once and for **all**." Shoving Axel against the floor, his head beaten and his body feeling mangled, the same pain he'd gone through for as long as he could imangine, beaten senseless and winding up all alone in his dark, broken world.

-!!!!!!!-

Telling by the reviews, so I can tell if you guys ACTUALLY enjoy reading my stuff, I MIGHT continue, either that or it was just a waste of time, and just a way to vent. I'm not sure yet though. Well thank you for reading SO MUCH! I love you guys 8D


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